Chapter 6: The Best. Thing. Yet.

Marry me.

Sometimes you get something that makes you think "I wish I had thought of this!" or "This is so cool!" or "This just changed my life!" 

This thing makes me think all of those things. 

And more.

I legitimately don't know when I was so excited about something. 

This thing is so freaking awesome that I didn't even want to write about it because:

1. Now everyone will get one and when people come over for drinks and get to play with it, it won't be as much fun and they won't think "Man, that was the coolest thing!" (yes, I am that petty)

2. The awesomeness of this thing has so many layers to it that it's hard to try and explain it all in one post. Seriously. 

Time to end the suspense. I now present to you The Best Thing I've Bought So Far:

The Perfect Drink 2.0

What is it? Where to start. It's a scale, and it comes with a cocktail shaker (but you can use your own shaker, or a glass, or a pitcher, or whatever). 

Here's how it works: you download the Perfect Drink app to your iPad/iPhone. Then, turn on the scale and use Bluetooth to pair it to your device. Then, go through the app and cruise through more than 400 drink recipes until you find the one you want to drunk. 

Drink. The one you want to drink.

Then, put your cocktail shaker or glass or pitcher or whatever on the scale, and do what the app tells you: pour vodka until it tells you to stop. Pour vanilla vodka until it tells you to stop. Pour pineapple vodka until it tells you to stop. You get the picture. 

No jiggers necessary. No measuring. Just do what the app tells you! 

Oh, did you "accidentally" overpour that vodka (of course you did). No sweat -- the app knows and adjusts the recipe accordingly!

I know. It's awesome. But wait, because it gets so much more awesomer. 

1. The app is GOOD. Even if you don't have the scale, the app has great recipes in it. Drinks you really want to make, not a bunch of drinks that sound gross. And they regularly add new capsule collections -- recently they added a new collection created by a husband & wife mixology team who I might know if I ever looked at anything on YouTube, apparently.

2. The app is SMART. You can use the "liquor cabinet" feature to tell the app all the stuff you have in your liquor cabinet, and then ask the app to only show you recipes that you have all the stuff to make. Brilliant! And if you're browsing through all the recipes after you've set up your liquor cabinet, each recipe has a little icon on it showing how many of the needed ingredients you have on hand. Of course, you can also search the app by spirit, or keyword too. 

3. The app is DRUNK-FRIENDLY. In addition to the whole "buzzed people are bad at measuring" issue that this thing avoids from the jump, it also lets you set up a "menu" of cocktail recipes. So let's say you're having a party. You go through and decide what drinks you want your guests to be able to make and add them to the menu. Then set up the app to just show your menu of cocktails, and set out only those boozes you want folks to use and everyone can self-bartend using whatever you want them to use and make delicious cocktails with just those items.

The app is there for YOU. Can't find a recipe you like (really???), that's okay. The app is here for you...just enter your own recipe and the app does the rest. 

But, wait. I'm just getting started.

The company has two other apps: Perfect Bake and Perfect Blend. 

Mmmm hmmm. Things are about to get awesomer. 

The company has two other apps -- Perfect Bake which is a collection of baking recipes (in case you hadn't deduced that already) and Perfect Blend, which is a partnership app with VitaMix and is all about smoothies. 

That's right, y'all -- you can use your scale with all three apps! Put your mixing bowl up on the scale, fire up Perfect Bake and add flour until it tells you to stop. Add chocolate chips until it tells you to stop. And then eat a handful of chocolate chips. It's easy, it's precise, and it really minimizes clean up. 

And then there are the smoothies. You tell the Perfect Blend app what kind of blender you're working with and then put the container on the scale and start adding what the app tells you to add and then smoothie your brains out. 

This thing is freaking AWESOME.

Did I mention: this thing is less than $20?

I don't know why you're still reading this.

Go buy one. NOW.

Note: The company makes two versions of the scale -- the 2.0 which is the basic scale I'm reviewing here, and the Pro. The price difference is significant, so you might start with the basic and if you decide you like it and will use it often, maybe upgrade to the Pro which has a digital display screen and a few other bells and whistles, but honestly isn't necessarily worth the upgrade price for everyone. Both the basic 2.0 and Pro scales work with all three apps. 

Pro Tip: The price on the Perfect Bake Pro, Perfect Blend Pro and Perfect Drink Pro are different -- on the day I checked, the Perfect Drink was more than $20 more than the other two Pro models. The scale is identical and can be used with all three apps regardless of which you purchase, and the only difference is what comes with the scale -- a cocktail shaker a smoothie travel cup or baking bowls. Since you can use your own shaker or bowl, you might just want to buy the cheapest one. 

Chapter 5: It's Analog TimeHop!

This is almost actual size. 

Journaling can be hard work.

First of all, it requires discipline. Something I suck at. Real bad. But even if you are disciplined about it, there's the pressure of the blank page. All that space. All that expectation. So much potential. How can you fill up all. that. space? 

That's why I love love love this little journal. It's kind of genius.

It's cleverly designed to be your constant companion for five years. Five years! That's longer than my starter marriage. Longer than that time ombre' hair was a thing. Longer than the expiration time on a can of Spam. Longer than New Coke lasted. Longer than we'll have to endure "the current Administration!"

Ahem.

So here's how it works: For each day of the year, there are five entries, all on the same page. Each entry area is for a different year. So when you turn to a new day, you'll see the entries for that date from the previous years right there on the page. The layout is a little tough to explain in writing, and, for some dumb reason, the product images don't have a good shot of the pages to show you how it works.

You know how you love seeing your Facebook memories, right? Well it's like that! Only you don't have to see the photos reminding you how much thinner you were! Hooray!

And, to help with all that blank page performance anxiety, each day's entry space is small (hence the name "One line a day." Duh.). I'd say it's more like two lines a day, but po-tay-to, po-tah-to, right? The point is, you don't have to write a novel. Just make a quick note. Maybe your high/low of the day. Or the most important thing that happened all day. Or the funniest thing you said. Or the most beautiful thing you saw. Or or or...whatever you want to remember about this day. Or a friend who is trying to get healthy and wants to record their daily progress a la Bridget Jones: "Weight: 170 60 oz of water, 5 minutes of "exercise", two flame wars on TMZ."

I gave one of these to my niece who is wrapping up the seventh ring of Hell that is high school and will be moving on to the adventure that is college. This little journal will cover her entire journey, which I think is pretty neat.

I can imagine this would be a wonderful gift for a friend going on a literal adventure (G, if only I'd discovered this before you left!). Or for a friend about to embark on a life-changing experience, like their first child (Golly, if only I knew someone....).  

The journal is small enough to toss it in your backpack, your purse (well, my purse anyway), stash in your bedside drawer or your glove box.

In today's world of smartphones and tablets and Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat and and and...I find this little journal utterly refreshing and completely charming.

I give it a thumbs up and three totes adorbs hearts. 💙💙💙
And a unicorn. 🦄

Chapter 4: Check out my balls!

Balls!

I admit I bought these suckers out of idle curiosity. What did they DO, exactly? Were they really effective? The whole idea just seemed...weird.

So I got myself some sheep balls.

When they arrived, I was underwhelmed. I don't know what I expected, really. They just weren't remarkable at all. They weren't fuzzy and cute like little sheep. Kind of meh. "Oh, well," I thought, "this is all a grand experiment. Let's just check out these balls." And with that, I tossed 'em in my next load going into the dryer.

Ba-BAM!

They minimized static, just like a dryer sheet.

My clothes weren't wrinkled, just like a dryer sheet.

And then there was this: they reduced my drying time! By a lot!

Say what?!?

Yup, that's right, not only did they do the stuff dryer sheets do, but they also reduced the amount of time it took to dry my clothes. Which means my dryer runs for less time. And it means less wear on my clothes and linens.

There was one downside I noticed: while my balls were impressive, they didn't make my clothes smell nummy-fresh right out of the dryer. And that was a big downside for me because I do the chore of laundry, I want a nummy-fresh smelling bunch of clothes as a payoff for my effort.

My balls didn't smell nummy-fresh.

I checked out the reviews and discovered that I could oil my balls! Just add a few drops of essential oil to each ball to get whatever delicious, delightful, fantastic smell you want.

Now my balls smell like bergamot, ya'll! And I love it!

These things are a no-brainer in my opinion: they do everything you want them to do for your laundry, they help reduce waste and energy use, and you can make them smell like whatever smell you want! You're never out of dryer sheets, and they last for months and months and months, apparently.

So, go ahead...check out my balls. I think you're gonna like 'em.

Chapter 3: I am a bath person

I mean...just LOOK at it...beckoning to you...and your wine glass.

I've learned over the course of my life that some people just aren't bath people. Me? I am a bath person. I can see the thinking behind not being a bath person for purposes of getting clean. But for purposes of relaxing, and warming up in the winter, and soaking your sore body, and listening to NPR while you eat yogurt, and having a great excuse to tell people to leave you alone...I'm ALL about a bath.

That's why this purchase spoke to me, even though it tiptoed right outside my "try to keep it under $40" threshold. I was probably more anxious for this one to arrive than any others so far. I was downright giddy about it. And then I had the horrible thought: what if I'm disappointed in it? I need to dial back my giddiness lest I be let down!

Well, great land o' Goshen, this thing turns out to be everything I hoped for...and more!

First, it's adjustable width, and it can go big. Which is good, because we have a weirdly big bathtub. And it's bamboo, so it's made to stand up to splashing and such.

And oh, by the way, it has a super-secure wine glass holder...that's right, A WINE GLASS HOLDER. You just slide your wine glass right into this nifty little spot designed just specifically to hold your wine glass. Genius.

And there's a slot for your phone. Because obviously you NEED your phone in the bathtub. Because you have your bluetooth speaker over there on the counter and you need to be able to skip any tracks that harsh your bathtub mellow. Lucky for you, your phone is right. there.

And there's a spot that I think is probably for a candle. But guess what? It's perfectly sized to hold a wine bottle! Yup, that's right -- a bottle of wine fits right in that sucker. Also, and just as awesome: I have a snack bowl that also fits in it perfectly, so you fill that sucker up with some chocolate covered almonds and hop in the bath and BOOM, your life just got better.

And, the pièce de résistance: this thing has a stand for your iPad or lightweight laptop so you can watch Netflix while you soak! HELL! YES!

Yes, I spent a little more on this one than my daily limit, but I can't tell you how much I love this dumb thing. I weep for all the baths I took over the years that could have been So. Much. More. Awesome.

If you need me...you now know where to find me.
PS: Someone in this house rolled their eyes a lot when the bath caddy arrived. But now, someone in this house is under the weather and spending significant time soaking in the bath and wouldn't you know it: now he thinks this thing is pretty damn cool. Told ya so.

Chapter 2: Is that mint in your water or are you just happy to see me?

Water or vodka? You be the judge.

I mentioned that one of my other, more boring New Year's resolutions is to drink more water -- and that's how I came to buy today's Amazon find. When I'm out in Palo Alto for work, the hotel I stay in always has the tastiest infused water in the lobby. They change it up -- sometimes it's lemons and oranges, sometimes it's cucumbers and mint. Some combinations I like more than others, and I'm always sad when I come running to the lobby with my S'well bottle only to find some jackhole has put blueberries in there. Pass. Superfood my ass. So I decided not to leave my flavored water happiness to chance. No longer will that blueberry fan harsh my mellow, because now, thanks to this little Amazon find, I infuse my own damn water. This bottle comes in lots of nice colors and has a 32 oz capacity -- although it's a bit less once you jam all your fruit in there and drop the infusion core thing in. Because, physics. It's sturdier plastic than I expected for the price (about $15, give or take), though, which is great. They also give you a little booklet with some infusion ideas to get you started, although you can find all sorts of ideas online. And, yes, there is absolutely no reason why you can't also use it to infuse vodka or other spirits. #KnowYourAudience Downsides: the lid on this thing is just dumb. It's huge-mongous and bulky and it flips back and there you are holding this thing, trying to drink out of the weird spout on top with this huge, bulky lid right next to your face. Definitely not a smart or sleek design. And, and most frustrating, the lid design is not intuitive to open the first time. At all. So much so there are entire comments about it on Amazon, plus they put stickers on the bottle to try and tell you the secret, and then they know that doesn't work so they send you a follow up email saying "In case you're wondering how to open your new bottle...." Once you KNOW, it's actually dead simple, but the fact that you have to TELL ME how to open the bottle? FAIL. I still like it just fine. I just don't use it in the manner I thought I would -- I infuse the water in the fridge, then pour it into a giant insulated cup to drink, refill the bottle and put it back in the fridge. Repeat as needed. So I guess I'm really using it more like a small infusion pitcher rather than a traditional water bottle, but that's actually kind of nice because it is compact and doesn't take up much fridge space. In any case, for the price it's just fine, it works well, materials are sturdy, and it's definitely done the job of helping me get my water intake up. BTW: strawberries and oranges FTW.

Chapter 1: De-stinkify your life

De-stinkify your whole life, yo!

First purchase: Charcoal air purifier bags!

These things rocked my face off.

My car is affectionately called The Dog Wagon around here because it's the vehicle we haul the dogs in. And it smells like it sometimes. So I got a couple of these and put them out in the sun to "charge" them, and then tossed them in my car and BOOM, just like magic, my car smelled...well, like nothing. It didn't smell like dogs, and it didn't smell like fake coconut smells or plastic-cherry smells. It just didn't smell.

I became obsessed immediately.

We have a large master closet/room and it's the only place in the house where we still have before-we-lived-here-carpet. And it just smelled...closet-y. A large charcoal bag later, BOOM...nada.

Then our dipshit contractor unplugged the refrigerator in the basement while they were finishing out the space and everything in it went bad and it reeked. A Costco-sized bag of baking soda didn't even make a dent. Voila! They have charcoal bags that are sized for your fridge and use a fabric that is fridge-temperature-friendly! One in the fridge, one in the freezer and within 48 hours...all the stank was gone!

These are an official thumbs-up purchase.

This link is to the large one that I used for the closet, but they come in all shapes and sizes.

One woman's war against the trend of downsizing....

I made some New Year's resolutions. Some of them are yadda yadda stuff, like drinking more water and losing weight. And then I made a few that were more specific about taking care of myself, and being more consistent in making myself a priority.

But nobody cares about that stuff.

I made two resolutions that are more appropriate internet fodder:

1. Do more stuff that scares you. 
2. Buy something from Amazon every day.

That's right: Buy something from Amazon every damn day.

Amazon is a big place, but I felt like I had been really limited in my Amazon exploration. So I decided to expand my reach. Buy weird things! Buy things I don't need! And tell you the honest truth about them all.

Mostly I'm buying little stuff. My goal is to keep it at $40 or less (a lot of things so far have been way less). And I'm only buying Prime stuff because if I wait too long for shipping, this little experiment will lose my interest (remember, I told you I'm trying to get more consistent about things).

It's interesting how aghast people are when I tell them this was a resolution. I guess everyone is so all-about the downsizing/have-less-stuff movement that this strikes people as a bold move in the entirely opposite direction. Eh. Maybe. But let's just chalk it up to Category 1, and move on.

So, I thought I'd share the broadening of my retail horizons with you, gentle readers.

Ready? Here we go....

NOTE: Nothing I'll be sharing here was given to me for free. I should be so lucky. I bought and paid for all this stuff my own self. I did, however, decide to join Amazon's affiliate program, and I'll post an affiliate link for each item I've bought. I'm new to this affiliate thing, but as I understand it, if you click the link I post, and buy that exact item...then I get a .03 Amazon gift card...with which I'll just more buy stuff on Amazon and then post that stuff to the blog. A neverending cycle.